We learn and endure
Expose and secure
What we want to be known yet silenced.
We invite and allure
No behavior demure
But pretend we are coy and quiet.
Will you speak,
Can I seek
Something that makes sense in the end?
With no intention to defend
nor to amend
Maybe it won’t make sense in the
“It sucks loving someone.”
“No, it sucks when the person you love doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved. Loving someone, however,…is everything.”
I remember little from when I was little.
You watched me grow.
You sure remember more about me than I do.
You tell me stories about myself and I listen intently,
discovering new things each time.
With every silly catch phrase and habit I once had,
I was me.
I was as me as I am now.
So I hear that I was shy and sweet.
I went through a stage where I referred to everything in the past
as “yesterday” even if it took place a few hours prior.
I ate pasta every day,
I didn’t share my feelings much,
And I had the biggest eyes:
eyes that took over most of my face.
still bigger than they should be,
but they once saw the world in a much different way:
a way I will never remember,
but you always will.
Comfortable and warm,
sitting and still.
Where is my desire,
passion and will?
Skin be stripped,
bare bone be shown;
Pain be endured,
purpose be known.
Is my heart just beating?
What is it for?
Am I only breathing?
Let it be more.
-Let me be more.
Chemistry conveyed in pounding pulses,
Carried in melodious chords,
Counting the occurrences to come:
When I will feel this again.
Even in my second encounter I am still
Confusing the collision of drumsticks and drums
With the sound of my heartbeat;
I am convinced they are correlating.
The illuminated colors bounce from my eyes onto the walls.
I consume each lyric resulting in echoes throughout my bloodstream.
It is not capricious to capitulate to this moment
When Tonight has promised me happenings quite chimerical.
Such a colossal occasion couldn’t take place without this surrender.
So, here I am casting my Coins in hopes of capturing it all again.
And with Fingers Crossed,
I await the culmination of my next countdown.
Feelings are such blessings. You may be going through some sort of sadness or madness, and that is normal. Accept the state you are in. Seek understanding in what you would normally consider to be your negative emotions. Positive emotions would lack value without the occasional run-in with an imperfect one. We are accustomed to the known and cannot fully grasp goodness without experiencing hurt and suffering to some extent. I am lucky to have felt so many emotions to an extreme. I thank God that He has allowed me to recognize the depths of each one and not ignore them. I know that I cannot rely on my feelings alone, because they are fleeting and constantly changing. I am equipped to handle situations through the wisdom and understanding that He places in me. I can process emotions but not be guided by them and that is crucial. I can listen to my heart but respond with knowledge from the Holy Spirit. Because of this, I have strength even in my weakness.